IT’S PANIC STATIONS! President Vladimir Putin is accumulating hordes of Russian soldiers around the Russia-Ukraine border. Ukrainians, along with the rest of the world, are fearing for the worst. An invasion is not just another eventuality; it is in all likelihood, imminent. Citizens have started brushing up on their sabre and rifle skills in case the inevitable happens.
NATO forces have attempted to speak some reason into Moscow, but it’s falling on deaf ears. There are approximately 100 thousand Russian Armed Forces (RAF) near the eastern Ukrainian boundary and counting. Ukraine says that it has been living with the Russian threat since 2013 when Ukraine was in between joining the European Union and remaining in Russia’s orbit. For at least 8 years, RAF has been playing rough.
Ukraine and Russia were part of the Soviet Union, Lenin’s brainchild of last century. When the curtains closed on the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) in 1991, Ukraine and Russia went their separate ways as independent nations. Moscow doesn’t want to let Ukraine go, however. You know how clingy toxic lovers can get.
At the crossroad of 2013, the then Ukrainian president, for one reason or another, embraced the Russians. He got a multi-billion dollar bailout from Putin as a reward. There is chatter that the only reason Russia was funding the Ukrainian crisis was because the deal included the Ukrainian natural gas pipeline as collateral. This kicked off massive protests that led to the president’s removal.
A new prez was installed and he promptly signed an agreement with EU. In the aftermath, Crimea, a Ukrainian island, decided to be controversial and sided with Russia in what Barack Obama called a “violation” of the Ukrainian constitution and international law. Taking inspiration from Crimea, eastern Ukraine, which has a lot of Russian speakers, kicked off their own war and declared themselves independent of everybody! “We’re not Russian, we’re not Ukrainian!” It’s like if Shiselweni woke up one morning and informed emaswati that they are now their own nation. It’s wild. 14 000 died, 1.5 million were displaced. The status of eastern Ukraine hangs in the balance to this day.
Russia fears that Ukraine is ingratiating itself more and more with western powers and is especially worried that they are on course to joining the military alliance, NATO, the antithesis of Russian ideology as we discussed in this article. Russia is making demands now. For one, NATO should cease relations with Ukraine. Further, NATO is urged to pronounce that Ukraine will never be admitted into NATO. LOL, right? NATO will never ever oblige Russian wishes.
Putin is afraid of democracy. He sees it as an existential threat to his authoritarian regime. Expressionz Oozing taught me that if you’re going to make big claims like this on the internet, ensure that you attach the term “allegedly” to your assertions lest you be sued. So, everything up to this point attaches “allegedly” 😂. SirLushaba lawyers are underpaid and you get what you pay for.
Rolls Royce Record Breaking Sales
Rolls Royce had record breaking sales last year. They sold a total of 5 586 vehicles. Their customers were from all over the world spanning some 50 countries. I found it surprising that a luxury car manufacturer could do well in a pandemic. In times of crisis, we were always taught that it is businesses that supply essential goods that stand any chance of maintaining profitability. I guess Rolls Royce didn’t get the memo.
Fellow luxury car manufacturer Bentley also had a good year. It’s been 2 years in a row of record sales for them. Rolls Royce CEO said he also couldn’t believe it. All markets were the strongest they’ve been for at least the 10 years of his tenure at Rolls Royce. In fact, they are the strongest sales numbers in 117 years of Rolls Royce’s existence.
Explanations that I’ve come across regarding this feat from luxury auto brands include the ones in the quotation box below. But before you consider that, Rolls Royce wants you to know that they are running close to maximum capacity and their order books, as they are today, will keep them busy well into the third quarter of this year. If you want a Rolls Royce in 2022, I suggest that you stop reading right now and place your order. You may expect to take delivery of your car sometime in December in the best case scenario.
Why record sales for Rolls Royce and Bentley? 1. There’s a growing YOLO mentality in general society and it is accelerating during the pandemic as people feel “pressure” to rush attainment of their bucket list items before they meet their fate.
2. People haven’t travelled at normal frequencies for 2 years. That can add up for those that only fly first class. High net worth humans found Rolls Royce and other luxury brands the right destination for their excess disposable income accumulated while Covid-19 renders their jets grounded.
More News
A man has received a life saving heart transplant from an unusual donor, Chris P. Bacon… I mean, a pig. A literal pig. Napoleon from Animal Farm. Are you getting what I'm saying? They took a pig’s heart and threw it behind a human being’s rib cage and pressed the on switch… and it worked. Read it here.
What I’m Reading
I’m running out of clever ways to say that I’m reading the same book I have been reading for what feels like an eternity now. 2000 pages yet to go. Hang in there. We have gathered a lot more information about the main characters in the story. As an executive summary, the bad guys are doing well. They have many noble titles and vast amounts of wealth. Fernand was even granted his ultimate wish to wed Mercedes (Dantes' ex-fiance).
As for the good guys; they are either dead, broke or unhappy. I can’t decide which is worst. My case in point. Morrel, Dantes’ old boss, the ship owner, who tried all that he could to get Dantes acquitted of his trumped-up charges and who had already promoted Dantes to captain of the Pharaon, the event that triggered the bitter betrayal from Dantes’ fellow sailor, Danglars, is now bankrupt. Morrel lost his last ship to the raging waves of the ocean. The sailor responsible for taking the news to Morrel told the story in a tone that suggested a lack of sensitivity. The guy was throwing metaphors and similes like the ship “fell like a dog chasing its tail.” To add insult to injury, he offered sound effects as well. Morrel did not take the news very well and seriously contemplated suicide.
Caderouse (old neighbour) snitched on Danglars and Fernand. He actually gives Dantes a play-by-play on how the two little devils betrayed him, but conveniently leaves out the part he played in the whole thing. No honour amongst thieves I guess. He earns a huge diamond for his trouble.
With a heavy heart, I reiterate, it seems the good people in the story are taking Ls whilst the guilty parties are stacking up on dubs. It must be a Cinderella-plot-type-thing, yeah? I recommend this book, but clear out your calendar.
If anything else happened this week, I missed it. Till next Sunday 👋🏾.
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