It’s not really possible to look away from what’s happening with Russia at the moment. Spanning 2 continents, Russia is the largest country on the planet. Further, and more significantly, Russia happens to be the largest exporter of fertilisers. The largest importer of these fertilisers is Brazil. After Brazil there’s China and then, as my favourite American friend would say, Americaland. Brazil differs in an important way from China and the US. The land of the Samba has very little domestic production of fertilisers. They are heavily reliant on Russian exports to come anywhere near their production capacity.
Even though I come from a farming family, I have very little to show for it by way of knowledge on tending to crops and the importance of fertilisers. All I have going for me in that regard is that 1 term at my high school lapha kuMalagwane when they tried to get us to cultivate land for a garden. I don’t even know if farmers use terminology like “cultivate” but I’m making the point that I’m a stunning disappointment to the Lushabas. The farming tradition probably ends here. Ncesini boGumedze.
The problem is even deeper because I can only remember 2 things about Agriculture lessons. 1, they were an opportunity to demonstrate some of my physical attributes to my high school crush during practicals; and 2, the teacher was a rogue agent who would use the blackboard duster on our knuckles as a form of punishment (I obviously haven’t forgiven you). I dug the best holes! By the end of each lesson, there was more fertiliser than soil lapho kwendlule Mangaliso khona. I was watering my crops so much that my patch looked more like a swimming pool than a garden. I can’t quite recall what my report card looked like by the end, perhaps conveniently, but there’s good reason to suspect that I didn’t do all that great. Worse yet, all these overt manoeuvres were never really acknowledged by their intended audience. I don’t remember her ever saying my name. I doubt that girl even knows that I ever existed.
Anyway, Brazil tends to use fertilisers more productively than a teenage Mangaliso. They are the world’s largest soybean producer. China is the largest soybean importer. Connect the dots and you will arrive at a chain reaction that looks that looks something like this:
A sanctioned Russia can’t export fertiliser to meet Brazilian demand ➡️ Brazil can’t produce soybeans to meet Chinese demand ➡️ Consumption of soybeans falls in China ➡️ Chinese livestock starves to death ➡️ 1.4 billion Chinese humans starve (hyperbole alert 🚨). A hungry China threatens global food security. We saw from Covid-19 how quickly a Chinese problem becomes everybody’s problem.
Americans Own A Lotta Guns
There was a survey conducted by an independent research project in Geneva many moons ago that found that although Americans make up less than 5% of the the global population, gun ownership over there accounts for about 50% of the world’s guns in civilian hands.
The chief reason for popularity of firearms in America is ‘access.’ When compared to other jurisdictions, American gun laws are more permissive for better or, more often, for worse. America is at the top of gun violence lists every year. Every other day there is a gun-related massacre at the hands of a radical ideologist who adopted bigotry as a personality trait. It’s not always big ideas on religion and sexuality that lead to shots being fired. Sometimes it’s over a spilled drink.
In the last week of last month, gunfire broke out at a pizza place killing 2 people in Louisiana. When police reported to the scene, they learned that the gun violence began as an altercation over a spilled drink. There were a further 3 people that were injured; all of them innocent. They hadn’t spilled anyone’s drink. They were just unfortunate bystanders who were waiting for their order. The conflict resolution practices in Americaland are something to behold. Anything can happen even while you’re on stage on Hollywood’s biggest night doing a job on live television.
Women’s Swimming Champion
For the first time ever, the winner of a women’s national swimming competition was born a man. The transgender athlete, Lia Thomas, has sparked fierce debate after she made history by winning the NCAA swimming championship.
Before she was Lia, he was William. William was ranked over 500 in men’s swimming. He wasn’t exactly setting the men’s category on fire. However, fortunes seem to be changing. Lia is a champion swimmer in her first year competing as a woman. This is reminiscent of Glamour magazine naming Caitlyn Jenner (formerly Bruce) the woman of the year after less than 1 year of being a woman. Who must answer for fairness?
Biological men differ anatomically from biological women in obvious ways that you can observe with very little effort using… just… eyes. Androgens and oestrogen are to thank for these differences. Thicker skin in men, fatigue resistant muscles in women. Women have longer index fingers than ring fingers (generally), whilst the opposite is more commonly observed in men.
There are under the surface differences too, right? Ovaries and that? Then there are fertility incongruences. Men are fertile from the day puberty hits until death. You will have to acknowledge though that the quality of their fertility soup deteriorates over time. On the other hand, women are fertile for only 12 hours each month and a day comes when they produce their last egg around mid-life. There’s propensity to detect slight colour differences versus propensity to observe slight movements. The former is better in women, the latter in men. This is the point. There are differences, agreed? Okay!
William’s best laps on record are not different from Lia’s best laps. In fact, they are identical. William’s best laps were not enough to win him any competition against other men. However, those same performance levels seem to be sufficient to win competitions against women. It suggests to me that all the physiological benefits William enjoyed as a man have been passed down to Lia to enjoy as a woman. There’s a very long conversation to be had here. Were the ladies at NCAA 2022 competing against William or Lia?
What I’m Reading
The Count of Monte Cristo has hired 2 people to play father and son. The older man is playing the role of a retired Italian major and nobleman who has been searching in vain for his kidnapped son for fifteen years. The younger man is just, well, the son. They have to pretend to have been reunited by the sheer resourcefulness of Dantes. When they meet for the first time, the characters admit to each other to be as confused as I am. This guy sure is taking his time with his vengeance.
Sidebar: This word “vengeance” has lost something since I watched the Batman played by a vampire. Batman was supposed to be ninja sneaky. Hiding in the shadows. Saying some thought provoking stuff. Solving cases and disappearing into the darkness. Mysterious. This is the most socially available batman I've ever seen. The vampire was clanking along the entire movie that seemed to last for a day and half. Marvel Studios won a long time ago but they win some more every time DC releases. If you haven’t seen this movie please practise self-care and keep it that way. AVOID.
Dantes then proceeded to host a dinner party with all his targets in the same room. The staged father and son duo also makes an appearance at this dinner. I’m guessing Dantes wants to parade them around and have them speak of how influential he was at "reuniting” them. Honestly, I can’t tell what Dantes is doing . This guy just loves disguises and lies. And he is the good guy… supposedly. It’s mad.
If anything else happened this week, I missed it. Till next Sunday 👋🏾.
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